Diary Mid Day 12 January 2013

So, I am back with my emotions to my lil self obsessed corner. I guess its my only best friend who will listen to me without saying a single word and will pay attention to what I have to say.

I just don't know the damn reason for my sadness and this deprived feeling. Its just that I want to sit with myself and cry, cry like a little baby. Probably I have not seen a childhood and now when I have grown up I want to live my childhood. I demand care, attention and love. This depressive mode is killing me every minute and every second. I wish I had someone who could not only love me dearly but also say, " No matter what happens, you are not alone darling. I am there to hold you and take care of you in every possible way that you demand."

I know that no body likes a cry baby and nobody would like to have a girl like me in his life but still I do need someone to hold me tight and give me a hug and would just not leave me alone. I am scared of being alone these days. Loneliness and spending time with myself were my favorite pass timers but now I am scared to do the same, cause the moment I am alone I land up into depression and a strange feeling conquers my heart.

I wish I had a solution to this problem of mine.I wish I had my mom with me right now to hold me, cuddle me and love me.

I miss you mumma and I need you. I desperately need you ma. Wish you could come back to my life. I dont know who you were, how you were and for that matter I cant even remember your last touch. The only thing that I remember about you and papa was the night when I lost the both of you. Today I know and I also realize that how important it is to have your parents hand on your head. I need you booth. Wish I could have the both of you.