Monday, December 6, 2010

Bikaji Cama Place

Bikaji Cama Place is a huge building. One of the fine looking government offices in India. The ambiance, however is really pathetic. With all babu's decked up in their old fashioned suits, they consider themselves to be the Gods of the aam janta. Since its these people who are supposed to give you the so called clearance, you have to respect them, no matter whether they actually deserve that respect or not. They will issue passports to all sorts of criminals, tharkis, terrorists, will make fake passports for people but will not issue an Indian passport to a person who shall be representing their country at the international level. So my story begins in the following manner:-

First Visit:

Sundriyal Sir: Nikita aap apne papers lekar ek bar bikaji cama place jao. 6:00 pm tak ka time hota hai. Abhi nikal jao, aur kisi samajhdar bande se apne papers verify karwa lo.

Me: haunted by the name of Bikaji cama place, I took a deep breath and said ok. I left with my feriend mady, who just accompanied me because she wanted to spend some time with me and was not in a mood to attend classes.

So, together we left and reached in one hour.

First counter: Madam ab aap kal aiyega, tokan ka time khatam

Me: but i just want to get my documents checked today.

First counter: Go to the counter No. 3 , wahi apko bateyenge.

Counter No. 3: madam ji ab aap kal hi aiyega, hum isi kaam ke liye thode hi na baitha hai.

Me: (Frustrated on hearing this) toh sir phir kaun batayega.

Counter No.3: mujhe nai pata

Me: Almost loosing my temper, but the very next minute a cute looking guy said

Cute guy: come I will make u meet someone who helped me out. She will help you also- Kaushal Aunty

Me: I did not know how to react, but the guy was cute and helpful, so I listened , secondly - I had no choice.

Kaushal Anty: haanji bolo beta.

Me: Showing her my papers, explaining her my strange story which have already been written in my birth history blog, I asked her for help.

Kaushal Aunty: Get these verification papers ready from a person who have the magistrate authority and see me on Monday. I will get it done.

(With relief in heart, I called my College Principal and told her the whole story. We sat in College till 6 in the evening, the whole office was running to court to get my documents ready)

VISIT 2:

All of a sudden Kaushal aunty shows her true colours, and denies to help.

Me: Nikita be strong, its ok. Collected my papers and got into the line. Finally I got the token. One hurdle crossed.

I waited for my turn. The whole day I sat in that boring place, the musical sound hurt my ears. I felt nostalgic, sick and worn out, but I still waited and kept praying. After four hours came my turn.

Me: (Glad, a lil nervous) these are my papers

Counter No 4: She took ten minutes to check my papers and said, beta apka yeh verification form par photo attested nai hai.

Me: I did not know about this. I have got the papers ready as ready in the form.

Counter No. 4: Yeh nai chalega. Aap yeh abhi karwa kar laiye

Me: Ok.

I called my College Principal and asked her to stay in College as I wanted to see her. Poor thing was about to leave for a university meeting but cancelled it for me. I ran to the college, fell twice on the way. Once on The Civil Lines metro Station and the second time I slipped from the Escalators in a very funny manner.

After reaching College;

Me: Munna Bhaiya, Principal mam ki stamp do

Stamped the papers and badged in her cabin without noticing that she was in a meeting. But she welcomed me

Principal maam: Signed and attested my documents and said all the best

Me: I ran waving her bye in air. Dint have time to chat. Had a deadline to reach. Messaged her thanks while sitting in metro.

Visit 3:

Reached passport office on time, went to the lady and got it done.

Counter No. 4: Beta arey! Yeh nai chalega. Principal yeh verification nai kar sakti. aap Couter No.2 par jaiye

Counter No. 2: these papers are not valid. Your principal can not verify ur papers. Only a gazetted officer can do it.

Me: But my College principal is a gazetted officer. She has the magistrate authority.

Counter No 2: Nai hoti

Me: But you must check . She has the authority

I argued alot, kind of faught with him. But nothing worked. I called Sundriyal Sir, spoke to maam on phone , they asked me to come back.

Please Note: According to law the Principal of a college which comes under University of Delhi ishas the magistrate authority.

The so called babus of the passport office, the so called intelligent , literate people sitting in one of the most important government offices of India- has knowledge = peanuts. This person is asking me to get verification from an under secretary, whereas the post of my college principal is much higher and she has the authority to give me the certi.

I felt like shouting at this fellow, wanted to ask him to update his knowledge, but I somehow could not do so. He was of the age of my grandfather. Somehow that respect came in me. I wanted to curse him out of frustration but somehow I could not. Maybe my culture and my morals barred me from doing so, but I just know one thing- This is simply not done. What happened is simply not correct.

P:S. I do not know whether I will be issued a passport or not, but I will try once again.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Happy Birthday Shubhda Di

Happy Birthday Janeman. May you have a long and a sexy life. May you keep Smiling and shining throughout your life.

Please Note:

Born on Dec4, 1988 is an angel. This Darling girl is a gem of a girl and has an amazing personality with an equally loving heart.

her loving nature is evident from her following acts:

1. Fantastic Accent
2. Sexy personality
3. Cute Smile
4. Beautiful heart
5. Brilliant Mind with a great IQ level
6. Cute style in which she says " Baddua de denge tumko"
7. The cute way in which she kisses on the forehead
8. Warm hug
9. The way she treats everyone around her
10. The way She always said - Bhaiya Chaai
11. The respect she gives to everyone
12. The way she handles things.
13. The way she dances on - Munni badnam hui darling tere liye

Wat do I say yaar, I miss your every single action, your hug, your smile, your support, the way you used to wipe my tears, the way you used to get irritated, the way you used to scream at me. Every bit of you is deep within me.

therefore on your special day, I will just say one thing- Happpppppppy Happppppppppy wala birthday to you, may you keep smiling.

I am thankful to God for creating a gem like you. You are on girl who has always helped everyone and thus I am sure God will give you the best things in life. You will get every bit of joy in your life as you truly deserve it.

Following songs for you:
  • Sajde kiye hai laakho, Laakho duayein maangi paya hai maine phir tujhe
  • lazy Lamhe
  • You are my fire
  • Tune jo na kaha main woh sunta raha
  • woh pehli baar jab hum mile
  • Tum se hi din hota hai
  • Tere Bina mAin (Crook)
  • Jab mili tu
  • As long as you love me
  • Birthday Sex
  • Bol na halke halke
  • Cuppy cake
  • Dil Ibadat
  • Out of this club
  • My love
  • I-Love_you
  • I am in love
  • Hey Shona
Di there are unlimited songs that will describe, how much I love you and thus from the bottom of my heart I can just say one thing: I love you unlimited

Happy birthday, it is your day. You must enjoy it.

P:S happpy birthday and you will definitely get all the happiness in life . I am always with you my darling.

Ab toh proposal accept kar lo

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Amazing birth history

Great history of some great people.

Indian record system is simply great. As a result of which today I am doubting my existence. The story starts in the following manner:

Me: principal maam, I need your help. I do not have a birth certificate. I need a birth certificate to get my passport made. Please help me.

Principal maam: Then how did you get an admission in College and school?

Me: I do not know!

Principal Maam: Ok , fine . Call in Sundriyal (Administrative Officer), Lets see what can be done.

Sudriyal Sir: Ji maam

Principal Maam: Sundriyal ji , kuch bhi karke iska passport banvaiye. Isko birth certificate chahiye, passport banvane ke liye. Toh, please you look into the matter and get it done.

Sundriyal Sir: passport ke liye birth ki copy kyun chahiye, woh toh tenth pass certificate se ho jayega.

me: Nai hoga, Reason, ek naya ammendment hua hai, All those who are born after Sept1, 1989 have to submit their birth certificate, tenth certificate is not valid. And my date of birth is Sept 28, 1989. So again a new problem.

Sundriyal Sir; Chalo koi baat nai, banva dete hai. He rings the bell to call peon (Pandev Bhaiya)

Pandev Bhaiya: Ji Sir

Sundriyal Sir: triveni ko bulana

Triveni sir: Triveni yeh iska birth certificate banvana hai toh MCD office jakar meri baat karvana

Me: Yippeee. Now things will start falling in place

Next Day

Me: triveni sir kya hua.

Triveni sir: It will take time

third day

Me: triveni sir, wat is the status

Triveni sir: Nikita ji, usme kaafi problem ho rai hai

Me: Kyun kya hua

Triveni Sir: According to the rule of the Indian govt, It is a rule, ki birth ke 24 hours later every hospital is required to forward their records to MCD, but apka kahin koi record nai hai, hospital mein koi record nai hai, MCD department mein koi record nai hai, toh ab kaffi mushkil ho rai hai.

Me: Toh ab aap yeh batao ki karna kya hai?

t Sir: Kya apke pass apke parents ka death certificate hai

Me: Nai humne liya hi nai tha.

T sir: Great. Aap toh bahut hi mahaan ho.

Me: Now what has to be done?

T Sir: Chalo kal dubara dekhta hu.

Day 4:

Me: Sir, kuch hua. Kuch ho sakta hai?

T. Sir: yeh form bharo, and isme likho ki aapka birth ghar pe hi hua tha

Me: Shocked , but had no choice so did as he said.

T. Sir: Ab main court jakar kuch affidavits banva kar lata hun, dekho shayad kaam ban jaye.

Me: Fingers crossed

So, finally the poor thing ran to court to get the thing done. Now, Affidavits are ready, but still some formalities need to be done, hopefully kal tak koi positive baat sunne ko mil jaaye. Although, I doubt our govt system but still I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Tomorrow I am going to Bikaji Kama place, let me teel you , if things go bad there also, I swear i will kill a few people. I am ready to be behind the bars now. This passport system is highly irritating with all the amazingly awesome tragedies happening with me.

P.S: I will fast for a monday if my passport gets ready on time.