There's a place that I go that nobody knows
Where the rivers flow and I call it home And there's no more lies in the
darkness there's light And nobody cries, there's only butterflies. Take
me away, a secret place, a sweet escape, take me away, take me away to
better days, take me away a hiding place.
The above song describes my desires and brings a smile on my face, a smile that has hope and makes me feel that my man would be the man of my dreams. I guess I need to wake up to the appauling reality and understand the fact that they dont make such men anymore. Despite being a practical modern women, I have been living in the world of dreams and have been waiting for my dreams and desires to be accepted in the real world, whereas this has never happened and I dont even know if this will ever happen.
All I know is that its time when I have started feeling that I need a companion. A partner that will take care of me not as a husband but as a friend first. A person who will understand and value my importance in his and his family's life and will not clip my wings which are clipped at the moment. A person who will live his life with me and will be my partner in crime. I need a real man who will have the backbone to support me in my decisions and would keep his ego outside our relationship. A man who will hold me tight and say, I am here, right here by your side to hold you if you fall.
I guess I am demanding a little too much, but isn't it justified because all this while I have been striving to sustain my life. I guess I deserve it. Since, I know I deserve it my fears begin as follows. They kill me, haunt me and make me weak:
1. What if I land up marrying a man who does not let me work.
2. What if he is not modern by his approach.
3. What if he doesnt love me
4. What if he treats me just as an object to satisfy his sexual desires.
5. What if I land up being alone even in his presence.
6. What if he doesnt take me away to the secret place of love in his heart.
A number of if's and but's .... A large number of fears. Yes fear..... Justified fears, after all a person who has seen a lot of pain in her life would be scared at every moment to choose...
I guess I am at that one stage, where on one hand I need my partner in crime but on the other hand I am equally scared of landing up in wrong arms.
P.S I hope god fulfills my desires and fears go down the drain!
The above song describes my desires and brings a smile on my face, a smile that has hope and makes me feel that my man would be the man of my dreams. I guess I need to wake up to the appauling reality and understand the fact that they dont make such men anymore. Despite being a practical modern women, I have been living in the world of dreams and have been waiting for my dreams and desires to be accepted in the real world, whereas this has never happened and I dont even know if this will ever happen.
All I know is that its time when I have started feeling that I need a companion. A partner that will take care of me not as a husband but as a friend first. A person who will understand and value my importance in his and his family's life and will not clip my wings which are clipped at the moment. A person who will live his life with me and will be my partner in crime. I need a real man who will have the backbone to support me in my decisions and would keep his ego outside our relationship. A man who will hold me tight and say, I am here, right here by your side to hold you if you fall.
I guess I am demanding a little too much, but isn't it justified because all this while I have been striving to sustain my life. I guess I deserve it. Since, I know I deserve it my fears begin as follows. They kill me, haunt me and make me weak:
1. What if I land up marrying a man who does not let me work.
2. What if he is not modern by his approach.
3. What if he doesnt love me
4. What if he treats me just as an object to satisfy his sexual desires.
5. What if I land up being alone even in his presence.
6. What if he doesnt take me away to the secret place of love in his heart.
A number of if's and but's .... A large number of fears. Yes fear..... Justified fears, after all a person who has seen a lot of pain in her life would be scared at every moment to choose...
I guess I am at that one stage, where on one hand I need my partner in crime but on the other hand I am equally scared of landing up in wrong arms.
P.S I hope god fulfills my desires and fears go down the drain!
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